In A Nearby Universe: Japan May Withdraw From Iraq

Following the kidnapping of three Japanese civilians today by terrorists who threaten to burn them alive unless Japan withdraws its forces from Iraq, Japanese Prime Minister Koizumi demanded that Japan be allowed to reinforce its existing force of 550 with a specialised search-and-rescue team of 550,000, comprising five armoured divisions with corresponding air and logistical support.

‘This is a Constitutional issue’, said Koizumi. ‘Our military is not called the Self-Defense Force for nothing. We are Constitutionally required to use it to defend our citizens from aggression, which this crime clearly is. Ever since World War II, Japan has considered itself to have a sacred commitment to the cause of peace. That is why we are proud members of the Coalition, and that is also why we are determined to rescue our kidnapped citizens with all possible dispatch, to bring their kidnappers to justice, and to burn every evil war criminal who dares to stand in our way while we are doing so.’

Japanese officials who have been asked to prepare contingency plans in case the hostages are found dead are said to be scouring certain 60-year-old documents ‘for ideas’. Koizumi is said to have threatened to leave the Coalition if its response to today's outrage is insufficiently vigorous.

Japanese Reactions in Iraq

Others have made a variety of comments in other places, but I'd just like to say that, based on my experiences in Japan that I would not want to be an arab/Islamic terrorist when the SDF is told to "get Imperial" on their butts.

"Insufficiently Vigourous response"!!!! Try cutting off limbs!

They have some VERY SERIOUS people in their post-WWII forces (in spite of a deliberate effort to look otherwise), and while I'd be pleased to have them in my foxhole or watching my 6, I would never want them mad enough to get serious on me.

This will be fun to watch.

Charlie 32

Link, please

Do you have a link to Koizumi's response? There was nothing about the 550,000 in the article you had already linked to.

sheesh

oh c'mon. obviously the reader doesn't understand the MWI stuff. u ought to explain it, or at least point him in the right direction, not make an odd joke he won't follow. more like this:

dear confused reader person:

the universe thing is from quantum physics. you can just think of "in a nearby universe" like "imagine a duplicate of our universe, expect slightly different". so in this duplicate, we can imagine it'd be about the same, except b/c of a few differences (japanese more moral, in this case) there is a different result (japanese defense forces defend japanese citizens)

~curi

Joke OK

The joke was right on. It was my own fault for not reading the damn headline. But then again, who does?

i read headlines

i read headlines (repeating in case you don't read subject lines either)

also it wasn't really a joke. i believe The World is rightly entirely serious that A) that did happen in a similar universe and B) the implication that they'd like it to, and it'd be better